"I see you."

One Sunday afternoon, my urging father decided to bring our entire family out to see the new movie, Avatar. Being myself, I didn't want to see that movie, I thought it would be a waste of my time. But being my father, he was implacable, and forced me to tag along. But if my persistent dad didn't make it a "family thing," I would've regretted not going.

Avatar makes my top favorite movies, hands down. The abridged version? It is about a US general who tries to concoct a ruse to take the land of the native people in Pandora. It is a utopia for the natives, and for the Americans who have been exposed to this land. Jake Sully, a former marine, takes his Avatar to learn the ways of the people of Pandora on this mission. Throughout the movie, Jake Sully learns the cultures of the N'avi people, and therefore had cachet with the natives. He then forgets about the mission and becomes emotionally attached to the natives and has the entire US army against him. He had to fight for what was right, and he made sure the natives fought for their land. His courage and strength prevented the general from usurping the land, and he saved the sacred world of Pandora.

I feel as if this movie is a reflection of history. This movie is exactly what happened between the Native Americans and the whites, where the whites tried to steal their land. During the movie, I didn't feel any ennui at all; there was not a dull moment in the full two and a half hours. This movie was more than just a sci-fi film, it was a regeneration of history. I think this "reenactment" of America years ago was just right and it portrayed the emotions of the natives beautifully.

I recommend everyone see this movie, it won't be a waste of your $10. If I hadn't seen this movie, I wouldn't know what I was missing out on.

So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?

Imagine if we could just talk to a person, without knowing what they looked like. There would be no judgment that a person's face may beguile you into. The pressure of physical appearance would be allayed; a relief, isn't it? We'd get to know one another, just really know that person. Looks can sway one to be attracted or not, so let's rid that. It may just be an infatuation that is ephemeral, and once we learn the flaws about that person, the infatuation may fade away.

It is because of physical traits that some genuinely good people don't get a chance. In the movie, Hitch, Kevin James plays an awkward tax accountant for a celebrity, Allegra Cole. Will Smith, the "Date Doctor," helps Allegra realize how much of an amazing man Kevin James is. Allegra finally opens her eyes to see the salient traits of Albert's personality. She falls in love with the man she never suspected she would, but they were ultimately happy in the end.

Which reminds, me, Disney movie love. What is Disney movie love? Is it when a sycophantic mother tries to ruin her stepson's wedding? Or when a lowly stepdaughter falls in love with the prince? I guess it's different in everyone's eyes, but I feel like it's when people realize that they're meant to be, no matter what they must go through. Their hearts coalesce to become one, and as long as they're with each other, nothing else in the world matters. So I guess you can call me a romantic, I won't deny it. I just wish the best in people would be seen, without judgment, without the harsh cruelty that people unnecessarily have to go through every day. I think everyone deserves a chance to love and be loved.

"I wish you would step back from the ledge, my friend."

I have stepped back from the ledge. I've learned that I need to accept myself for who I am, and that I shouldn't let something from the past control my life. All of this time, I've been meticulously trying to micromanage everything that goes in and out of my life, and I learned that I can't do that. I can't control everything. I always importune myself to keep everything under my belt, but I can't ask that of myself. I can't.

All of these conflicts in my mind have impeded me in enjoying life and appreciating everything I have. I have amazing friends who do care about me and I have amazing family that understand me, even when my behavior is beyond tolerable. Sometimes I think of myself as a pariah, mostly because I isolate myself when unnecessary. I now ask myself, "Why do I have to pull away from others when they're already there for me?" I don't need to get through this on my own, I have people who will celebrate with me when I'm happy and cry with me when I'm sad.

I can't control who comes in and out of my life, no. It's out of my reach and I'm letting fate do its magic. One day, I will be in a happy place where there nothing will matter except me and the ones I care about. We will go through heartbreaks, tragedies, and hardships, but that's all part of life, and I've realized that now.

"Well everyone I know has got a reason to say put the past away."

Why You So Obsessed with.. them?

My mind is a labyrinth, but it is quite clear that I am in love with weddings. Yes, weddings. What? I'm weird. I know. So? Yeah, that's what I thought. I am in love with the fact that they are so eccentric and one can make their dream wedding into a reality. I mean, what's not to love? I mean, there is enjoyment for epicures, they can also be classified as bacchanals, and true love is where its at. For most guests, there are food and drinks, and that is what convinces them to attend these events.

For me, it's all about the wedding dress. There will be qualms; she may be unsure about whether or not she made the right choice, whether this dress is the one. Say Yes To the Dress? Yeah, my favorite show in the world.. or at least one of them. Some may present themselves with much brio and sass, and others show that they are quiet and simple. It doesn't matter which one the bride is because she will always find the right dress, just like she found the right mate.

Most people don't have the kind of enthusiasm I have for weddings, for they hate them. But if you have a desultory attitude towards these happy days, I'm not going to judge you, just give you a face and gasp of disbelief and life can go on.

*The picture at the top is my future wedding dress :)

Don't Talk Behind His Back

You could say that I'm culpable of stirring up mayhem in my sixth period history class and Kimberly always gets dragged into sticky situations. She doesn't follow my antics by choice, as she always tries to avoid them. Oh, I am so omnipotent when it comes to controlling Kimberly, but then Mr. Asciutto comes over and gives me death stares, so I must either turn away or glare into those wild eyes.

On the other hand, Chrissy gets a more vocal punishment from Asciutto. He usually yells inordinately, "TAYLOR, THIS IS YOUR SECOND YEAR IN MY CLASS, WHY AREN'T YOU PREPARED?" This is then followed by Chrissy sputtering incomprehensible babble in disbelief. "But Mr. Asciutto, I am ready!" So you could say that Chrissy and I get the most picked on in that class and we're complete antipodes of Kimberly. Kimberly does not speak nor enjoys when I take pictures of her (which I don't understand because she's gorgeous). After history, Kimberly, Chrissy, and I were walking to math class, and as usual, we were making fun of Kimberly. Then, she smashes her elbow into her locker and that caused a paroxysm of hysteria. Laughing hysteria from Chrissy and me, and a hysteria of pain for Kimberly. Funny at the moment, but not in the long run.

Yes, I'm an aberration from the norm, but what can you do? I bring chaos wherever I go, and that's fine with me.

You Are What You Wear

It's cliche to say, "everyone says, 'you are what you wear,' but it's true." But I'm going to say it anyway. You are what you wear, and it's true. Someone may exhort you to wear a dress embellished with peacock feathers in addition to a christmas bow tied to the back, just to top it off, and you may feel as if you want to throw up last night's dinner. And that's simply who you are. Someone in ridiculous attire with an upset stomach. Oh great, leather thigh-high boots to exacerbate the situation; now you look like a zoo animal about to dance inside a cage. This is why I don't have a stylist, not that I could afford one anyway.

I'm a pretty gregarious person, so I'm fond with many different types of people. They are defined by what they wear, as am I. If I wear a black shirt, that doesn't mean I'm goth. If I wear a flagrant pink shirt, that doesn't mean I'm trying to bring back the 80's. I'm just trying to be myself, which may be one or a dozen different people. I guess everyone is more than one person, depending on their mood or the kind of day they're having. I'm more than one person just because it's interesting, and I like having the power to be a chameleon based upon the person I converse with. But one thing I will preclude is I will not change the person I am for someone else. I may be ten different different people, but I stay true to those ten people. Clothes may define who I am, but no other soul can define me.